shaylyn

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. There is a lot going on in my world yesterday and today. My oldest went off to college. He didn’t live with me he lived with my mom, my parents adopted him when he was a baby so he lived with them until they divorced and then just with my mom. He called me crying because she was crying when he left. I calmed him down, and then I had to call her and calm her down. It is a part of life to get older and move out. I just can’t believe I have a son in college. I don’t feel that old. Of course I am not that old. I had him real young thus my parents adopting him. Anyway, long story to say that he moved out, they all cried, and then I cried. Today he went and signed up for work study and all that, he is second on the list.  That means they will look at him second for jobs on campus. The good thing is he considers me his best-friend. How many mothers can say that?

I have stuck to my diet real well. I have exercised every night so far. I almost didn’t last night and was trying to talk my way out of it, then my husband gave me that look of disappointment so I went ahead, even though I did not feel like it, and worked out. The air climber is really easy on the knees and hips since you are walking on air.  I don’t know if I have lost any weight since I made a pack with another buddy on here not to step on the scale until Saturday. It is killing me but I am not going to do it.

Ok I guess I need to get to work.  Have a great day buddies.

Good Morning Everyone!

I again today and in a great mood, I think working out have something to do with it.  I just feel better than I did before I started working out. I am doing my workout at night, right after work and sweating like a cow and I am drinking plenty of water. I think that has a lot to do with why I feel better. I am getting all the impurities out of my system.

 Of course it doesn’t help that my husband woke me up last night for a little fun. You would think that would bother me because of the lack of sleep, but no.

My boss and co-worker are at a meeting this morning trying to get more members so I am alone. This will give me time to catch up on blogs and see how everyone’s life is doing.

Back to my workout, I love the Air Climber. If you don’t know what it is go to www.theairclimber.com. It is inexpensive and is as good as an expensive stair climber. The only catch is you have to have good balance because there is nothing to hold on to. I do it next to a wall so if I feel like I am going to lose my balance I hold on to the wall and last night I did almost fall of…lol. It is good when you can laugh at yourself. I did 30 minutes while I listened to my I pod and it went by so fast. When I was done I was like “wow, 30 minutes and I am not sore.” I think once I get the hang of just doing the climbing without falling I will add the arm movements and work the upper body as well. It comes with a cd if you want to use it and one of those Body Cords to work your upper body, a diet plan (one for a ten day quick drop and one for a slow drop in weight). It is really cool. I haven’t watched the video yet; I might stick it in my computer at home and watch it. I know it is for the entire body workout so I might just hold on to it for later.

Well enough about my Air Climber, I sound like a commercial for it…lol. On to catching up on everyone’s life. Hope you guys are doing well.

Good Morning Everyone…

I wish I could type that in the way that I feel.  I am excited to start the day. I did my stair climber for 30 minutes yesterday, sure it was at two 15 minute intervals but the book said that was ok when starting out. I woke up at 4:30 wide awake. But I did manage to go back to sleep around 5 and woke up again at 6 and got to work by 7:10. I am not supposed to be here until 8. Oh well early start for the morning, more time to play on the computer before anyone gets here.

I don’t know if any of you heard about the killing in Beijing of Todd Bachman. He and his wife were visiting a tourist site and got attacked and he was stabbed to death and she was critically hurt. This really hit home since they are local people and the florist Bachman is a Minnesota based company. We even have a Bachman in our Board of Directors. Please say a prayer for Barbara Bachman as she lay in a hospital bed in Beijing and the Bachman family for their loss.

Ok back to happy thoughts. My goals for this week are:

1. Stick to my diet; maybe start the diet that came with my workout stuff.
2. Work out for 30 minutes everyday.
3. Drink plenty of water.
4. Stay positive.

Now those are my goals, I hope everyone has a great day.

Good morning all.

I am happy today. It is a half day at work and that always makes me happy. It puts the office in a great mood. And I love that. The weather outside is perfect, at least for now, sun shining, birds chirping, wind blowing, you get the picture, perfect.

Why is it that when my husband sees me get on the scale it looks like all I have lost is a pound or two? But when I step on it in the morning I am down 5 lbs. Is there that much difference between night and morning? I am so confused!  Last night, with my husband present, I stepped on the scale and it said 159. I so wanted him to see it at 155. Then when I jumped on it this morning, after he had gone to work, I was a 155. AUGH! I guess there is a difference because you eat and retain water during the day? Someone help me with my question…. Please.

I posted that in two places because I really need to understand that. I guess I will have to jump on the scale on Sunday morning when we are both home. I want to see that little needle go below 155. Then I will be convinced I can do this. I have gotten this far before and then screwed up and put it back on plus some. So all together, even though my weight ticker doesn’t say so,  (because I didn’t want to put that I had gained 5 over my starting point) I have gone from 165 to 155. That is 10 pounds. So theatrically the next 5 should come off easy. But that is where the problem lies, from 155 to 150 seems to be the hardest 5 pound there is to lose.   

Anyway, I think we are getting the stair climber this weekend and that should help with those pesky 5 pounds. I want to say goodbye to 155 forever.

Ok, on to work, even though I don’t want to I guess I need to get some done on this wonderful half day.

Well today has been interesting so far. My boss and my co-worker were yelling down the hall at each other.  If I were in charge I would have fired her right there. There is no respect for authority with her at all. She knows he is a push over and treats him like one. So needles to say it has been interesting. She is now gone to lunch and he is in his office on the phone with the door closed. We will see where things go from here. Maybe he will get enough guts to let her go. Like I said good worker or not this is the second time it has happened and I would fire her. Or at least give her a written warning that if this happens again she will lose her job.

I am so psyched about my diet and weight loss. I have lost another 2 pound putting me at 155. I only have 5 more to go to reach my goal of 150 by the end of the month. If I surpass that goal I will be ecstatic. And with us getting the stair climber and introducing exercise into my weight loss plan I should shed those pounds. I knew when I stepped up this diet I would lose weight.

I had oatmeal and a banana for breakfast, Salad and a yogurt for lunch (I LOVE YOGURT!!!) and then a healthy low fat dinner (along with a yogurt) and then a yogurt for night time snack. They say three helpings of yogurt a day will help you lose weight. At least I think I heard that somewhere. Anyway it gives me an excuse to eat yogurt… did I mention I love it. I need to finish my diet Pepsi that I have from lunch and start drinking water this afternoon. That is something I have not been doing.  

Ok, my lunch break is almost over. I need to get back to work. Peace out!

Not much to report today.

Diet – Going well

Work – Going well, Going to be alone for a little while this afternoon so I can catch up on blogs.

Exercise – Not yet… but soon.

Home – Going Great!

I have lost the two pounds I wanted to lose this week. I am hoping to lose at least 2 more to be ahead of my goal.  I can’t wait to say goodbye to the 150’s.

I asked my husband what I would have to do to get the stair climber thing and he said just ask. So I asked. My guess is we will get it this weekend. He said he will use it as well plus he is getting some weights for him. I don’t know if I will use the weights but the stair climber says if you follow their eating plan and their exercise plan you could lose 10 pound in 10 days.  I don’t know if I want to lose the weight that fast. It doesn’t sound healthy. Like I said in my other blog, 2-3 pounds a week is fine for me, as long as I am back to my normal weights of 130 by December. That means I have 4 months to get there and I would really like, to be secure that the weight is gone for good, be there by November. That is 30 pounds in 3 months, I know it sounds like a lot but if you narrow it down to weeks that is 2.3 pounds a week so I figure if I can lose 2-3 pounds a week I will be on task.

Well I guess I did have some to write. I am going to go to the forum now and write a little in there.  Have a great day.  

Well good morning everyone.

Today is a great day. I stepped on the scale this morning and have lost 2 lbs. That is 3 total. I know it is not a lot but every little pound counts. My goal is to be at least at 150 to 153 by the end of August. Remember I said I wanted to be at 130 but the first of December. If I can lose 8 to 10 lbs a month that is not pushing it too hard and that is making it to my goal. 8 to 10 lbs a month is 2 to 3 lbs a week. I already have lost my 2 lbs for this week. So I am doing well.  My husband wants to buy me that stair climbing thing for me to workout on for 30 minutes a day. I think I will let him buy it for me and start using it. That with my diet should make the pound melt away…. I hopeJ.

I am having a good work day. Got in late due to my TMJ physical therapy appointment, but they understand that. My co-worker and my boss seem to be in good moods and that helps the atmosphere of the office. I am always in a good mood when I am Manic… which I am right now. My Bi-polar group is starting up again on August 25^th. I can’t wait! It is nice to have people to talk to that are in the same boat you are. Not that you guys don’t help me out a lot on here… because you do.

What else to write about?  Oh, a big HUG and THANK YOU for all the support you guys have given to me regarding my husband wanting a baby.  You guys were great for not judging me and being there with great suggestions. I did talk to my husband about surrogacy and adoption. He wants the baby to be his blood so adoption is kind of out but surrogacy is still up there as the best option. I do still have my ovaries and we could, if we found the right person and could afford it, implant with my eggs and his sperm and then it would be our baby not just his baby and we could raise it together. This option will take further talking about and saving up money but I think it is the right choice for us.

 Ok, now I am out of things to write about. Have a great day everyone!

So far so good on this Monday morning. My hubby and I had you know what first thing this morning and I still made it to work on time. I love the fact that we can do it for a long time when we have the time and we can have a quicky when we need to.

My boss is having a typical Monday and that kind of affects the office but I will not let his bad start or her get to me today. I had a great start and I am going to have a great day. It does help that I am manic and I have had 4 cups of coffee. Which I am not suppose to drink when I am manic but oh well. I had my oatmeal and banana for breakfast and no snacking today.

Well here we go… my boss just came in and the day has started.

Today is much better. My hubby and I had a long talk yesterday and this is what he said: “Please don’t worry about this if it ever happens it will be a long time down the road.  There was no third party when we got married and that is the way I like it.” To me that sounds like he is changing his mind about it. Next time he says something about wanting a child I am going to bring up using a sergeant. And explain that it will be our baby just cooked in someone else’s oven.

Now if that were the only drama in my life I would be happy. But there is drama at work. I feel like I don’t exist. I feel like I am a glorified secretary for both of them. Like I am last in the chain of command and that should not be the case. She, my coworker, and I are equal. That is the way my boss laid it out to me when I started working her. But she can be such a you know what that I don’t feel equal at all. And with all the other shit I have going on in my personal live last thing I need is to feel like shit at work.

My husband and I talked about this as well. He says to just do my job and not worry about him, my boss, or her, my coworker. So that is what I am going to do. I will be myself, cheerful and happy, but not share and NOT be her friend anymore. She is just a coworker. My saying for today is “there is nothing you can do or say to bring me down.”

Ok now I think that is all the drama for now. I can’t wait until weigh in. I feel good about this week.  I have upped my diet and added exercise. I want to be 135 by December. That is my goal and I am going to do it! 

Ok… here I go. No one will understand this and I know you said you will not judge but I know some of you will and most of you will think I am an idiot for this.

My husband wants a child. I cannot give him one since I had a hysterectomy when I was 25 due to some problems I was having. It was my life or my uterus. So you see which one I chose.

Before we got married I knew he wanted a child, I love him so much that I made an agreement that I don’t know if I can stick to and do not know if I will need to. It may never happen.  I agreed that when the time can for him to decide he was going to have this child he could have a girl-friend and they could have a baby together. My intentions were good my head said I could do it but now my heart says I can’t handle it.

The time has NOT come YET. But it could this week, next week, a month from now, a year from now. I don’t know and neither does he. Right now he says he is fine with it just being us and he is ok with not having a child but that may not always be.

So I told him my fears last night. Told him that I was afraid of losing him to this girl, afraid I could not handle it, and wondering what would happen to me while he was wooing this other woman. Well he told me to not even think about it right now and that IF the time came she would know about me and have to be alright about the fact that he would never leave me.

There are so many flaws in his plan that I don’t see how it would work anyway. He has to find a girl that is willing to have a relationship with a married man knowing that he will not leave his wife. Willing to have a baby by this man knowing he will not even then leave his wife and willing to let him have joint custody with her. She is going to have to be pretty secure in herself or stupid.

So go ahead a judge him, judge me. I know I should have never made the deal but then we would not be married or maybe not even together. Some days he says he is happy with just us and some days he talks about how he will raise this child. I don’t know what I will do or how I will handle this but I know if I truly love him I will be able to deal with it.